Hatchet

Sometimes the hype machine actually works for a film. A recent good example would be Cloverfield which had a huge viral ad campaign and lots of hype surrounding it. AND it actually was a fantastic film.
Sometimes, well more often than not, the hype machine builds up a movie past any expectations it could possibly reach. I'm a rational person and generally don't let hype cloud my judgment of a film. When I first heard of Hatchet it was actually from Kane Hodder himself talking about the project just after it had wrapped shooting. Mainly he explained all the "sick" kills he did in the film and as a gore fan I was excited to see what he was describing. Then, a little while later I started reading interviews with Director/Writer Adam Green about how he wanted an 80s old school slasher film with no CGI. Again this is great from my point of view as I prefer as much practical effects as possible. When I finally got my hands on a copy of Hatchet my expectations were still very low. Apparently, not low enough...
I'll start with the positives since there aren't many. For the most part the kills are pretty lame and uninspired but there is one the film will be known for as long as people want to see crazy gore. They reference it as the "pop top kill" in the special features and that seems a perfect term for Victor Crowley's head ripping kill. It really is a simple but fantastic looking kill and if you can find a video of it on Youtube or on a compilation show you won't need to sit through the film.
I think Joel Moore is a fantastic actor and is going to be equally fantastic in Avatar. If you ever wanted to see him literally throw up this would be the film for it... Thought not.
The only other positive things I can say about this film are a few choice bits of dialogue and some nice camera moves.
Where the film first starts to fail for me is in the lighting of all the scenes. Everything you see is either badly over lit, under lit or doesn't use natural lighting properly. F.Y.I. If you have guy standing in sunlight with a baseball hat on you use this thing called a bounce card to lighten up his face. Some of the compositions are so oddly lit I couldn't even make out what I was supposed to be looking at. Mainly with the shots Crowley's shack. It's almost as bad as an Uwe Boll film in terms of flood lighting.
I also feel that two of the three horror legends that appear in this film were pretty much a waste. Tony Todd has a small scene in the beginning that's pretty entertaining but ultimately worthless. Robert Englund starts the film off and you'd think if you can have the two guys who made Freddy and Jason famous you'd have them duke it out in some crazy over the top fashion. Sadly, Englund is screwed over with the only off screen kill of the entire film. In a better film I would have made him the tour guide or the guy trying to make "Girls Gone Wild" style videos. Just keep the man in long enough for something more than that.
If you really appreciate musical scores in films you should avoid Hatchet. The music is over the top, uninspired and completely inaccurate to the scenes. There is a moment where a girl is knocked/falls (never made clear) into the water from a boat and "chase" music suddenly cues up. Not tense scary music but music you'd expect her to be running through the woods to. I was also curious as to why there was an older Marylin Manson song for the opening credits but in the Extra Features you can see Director Green wearing a few different Manson shirts.
Lastly, the script was pretty damn awful. They show a few pages in the Extra Features and there are literally hundreds of exclamation points. Too bad that excitement didn't translate to film. Understandably you have to setup a lot of fodder for the kill-cannon when trying to make an 80s throw back. That's not really the problem. The problem is when you have to write a piece of dialogue as to why they DO NOT kill the monster instead choosing to run away. If your reasoning why someone doesn't take 5 steps and behead the downed villain is "This just bought us time to run away." you should never write a script again.
For those of you who actually sat through the film I have one lingering question; What the fuck was up with Victor Crowley's Bozo the Clown entrances? He enters like some sort of entertainer at a kids party. Or when he pops up next to the kids who are standing in a giant, open, well lit field. WTF?
The score is 4 because most of the actors are good, there are bits of dialogue that will actually make you laugh and the "pop top kill" is really a treat. Maybe a drunken night rental if you are an old school slasher fan.